I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Damn victory sex feels great
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
