So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
