once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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