do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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