It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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