is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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