the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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