I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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