She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
just tell him i said nine months
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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