apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Randomize
