Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
