Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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