Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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