Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Randomize
