The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
he was CRYING into my vagina
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
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