She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
