pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
