you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
