is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
