I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
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