Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
