you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize