The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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