I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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