My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
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