I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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