I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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