I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
