Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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