I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
