I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
i've created a new STD.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
