This dress was meant to end up on your floor
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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