Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
