so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
