The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
third nipple confirmed
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
God, I missed his penis.
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