My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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