I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
