hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
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