drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
