1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
