It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
