they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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