I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Randomize
