also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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