i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
