If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
