just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
