:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
