Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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