I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
