Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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