home. puking in laundry basket.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
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