The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
