My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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