Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
