That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
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