nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
