my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
