He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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