Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
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My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
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I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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