I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
