What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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