this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
